Aug 10, 2005

Humpday Wednesday

Yesterday was our three year wedding anniversary. The second one we've had to spend apart. Yesterday was a really bad day for me. It sunk in really hard that he's not here and won't be for at least another month.
Then top that, he's going to miss Emani's first day of school. She is hoping he'll make it back in time so he can take her on her first day. She's a daddy's girl to the bone. I told her that daddy has to work far away and maybe he'll make it home in time and maybe he won't, but that either way he will be home soon. That seems to be okay with her for now.
The house is so quiet. Too quiet. Whenever I put the girls to bed for their naps or for the night, the house becomes eerily silent. I don't even stay downstairs at night, because it reminds me of when he was home, and he'd sit in his recliner and watch tv before coming to bed. Cooking meals. Dinner time, no matter how much I try to cook just enough for me and the girls there's always some left over after we've eaten. Always enough for another plate. If I take the girls outside to play during the day, I usually sit on the front porch in the chairs and I find myself watching the street expecting the car to ride by as it does when he gets off work in the afternoons. Sleeping in my bed at night, even though I have the entire bed to myself, I still sleep in my one spot on my side of the bed.
It's a bit depressing but every day I remind myself that soon he'll be home and everything will be back to normal. But I'll be damned if that day isn't taking forever.......

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